FOUND HER.

She's home in Houston now, and I'm sure in the next day or so, you can check check her blog for all the stories about the week in Denver with the family. She has all sorts of stories to share with everyone, so be sure to pop over sometime this week to check them out!

I PROMISE, I CAN DO THE JOB, I PROMISE!
And apparently, I AM going to have a chance to say that in my best fourth grade voice on July 12th at 4PM in person, because they just called to invite me to round one of the face to face interviews.

?? Now all I have to do is find a ride ?? Or practice taking the buses to that spot a hundred times prior to the interview!

HAHAH! Saw this on a tshirt today, and busted out laughing! I was immediately taken back to the computer desk in the rear of Mrs. Hardesty's fifth grade classroom at Monticello Elem, where Jason Norris and I would sit and play Oregon Trail once our work was done. Good times. Don't YOU wish you had one of those cool tshirts?

Some others you might wish to be sporting this summer:

I AM NO SUPERMAN AT ALL.

I really like Dave Matthews, have I mentioned that this year? Some people say he's a flake musically. I don't care. I'll be one of those people who are a fan of the flake then.

No more loaded questions. I'm done, just fyi. Maybe some other game will find it's way here over the next few days or weeks, but for now, that's it. Funny thing, it's been just a few hours since I posted Joe's picture and mentioned that's he's coming up - and already I have had a few people email me asking, "Yo - can I get those digits, baby?" Hahaha...pretty funny. Of course, I gotta protect a brotha' like that and not give them out. He's reserved.

Who sings "Erase and Rewind?" I like that song. But don't tell Bob. I think that it qualifies as something close to that genre of music that I don't like, only I do like this song. OH! Senorita came up next on my play list. Lucky me! It's one of my favs.

In other news, David, one of the bloggers listed to the right, who was teaching at a school REALLY close to where Robert is, made it home to the States about four hours ago.

I have got to go to bed. My sleeping is seriously broken again...

LISTENING TO #41
(if I can't drive, at least I can listen to my DMB driving music)

From the epilepsy.com website:

Most people who take Topamax (topiramate) have little or no problem with side effects. Most of these problems are more common when higher doses of Topamax are taken. Those with problems most often complained of:

fatigue or drowsiness

difficulty with concentration

difficulty finding the right word (word retrieval)

confusion

dizziness

unsteadiness

a feeling of pins and needles, usually in the tips of the fingers and toes

loss of appetite and weight loss

nervousness

depression

difficulty with memory

Last week, I went to the neurologist for the first time in six months for a check up, and apparently, he saw the italicized side effects in me the same way I'd been feeling them. He asked me "how I'd been feeling" and I just glossed over the question and said, "OK, I mean, I feel a little dumb, but I think it's because I'm bored and don't have a lot to keep my brain occupied."

I don't think he found it very funny, because he came over and started his little test he does. "Tap my fingers with your left hand, now with your right, now grab both my hand with both of yours, now follow my hand with your eyes. Can you name five animals that start with the letter P?" and so on...and by the end of our appointment, he told me that he wanted to change my medicine. He said that he was not comfortable with the effect my medicine was having on my speech, my fine motor skills and my general thought processes, and that though the dosage of my medicine is safe to increase still, he is not comfortable increasing it again should I have another seizure. He recommended another medicine, told me about its own set of crazy side effects and risks, then gave me the choice to switch. I came home, thought about it, prayed about it a bit, talked with Bob about, and in the ended, decided not to. I'm okay where I am, I just have to deal with these side effects.

Fast forward a bit, and I had an interview yesterday with a very well known national non-profit's local branch here in Columbus for a position that is very well suited to my previous experience managing volunteers. I've done pretty well at that, you know? Even still - I was a bit surprised to get a phone interview for this position because it is SUCH a big organization, but I figured, "HEY, if they're calling, then they understand my experience and they are at least a little interested, right? If they're calling, then I can sell myself from here because I KNOW I can do that job, dang it!"

But once we started talking, questions that I've answered a thousand times in a dozen interviews in the past, CAKE questions, came out all garbled and stuttered. I couldn't find the word "DJ" when trying to answer the question, "Are you comfortable speaking in front of large crowds or presenting to audiences?" I was trying to tell her that Tom used to call me a Disney Tour Guide and how the morning show host from the local Christian radio show here in town told me three months ago at a benefit dinner we were hosting together that I could have a career in radio if I wanted it after working at the church, because though that was the first time he'd heard me in front of a large crowd, he was really impressed and felt that I was actually REALLY good. Only, when I couldn't find the freaking word DJ, I'm sure that entire story sounded STUPID. HOW could I possibly be a polished speaker when I couldn't find two letters only six spaces apart from one another in the english alphabet? In the end, there was no way the interview came off well because I was feeling very flustered by the whole experience, and thinking, "No really, I can totally do this job! I promise!" which is of course, a fourth grade response. You can't "No Really!" your way into a professional position, now can you?

I have to get over that, see. That feels like the medicine and the stupid seizures managing me, and not the other way around. I don't know if it means making flash cards that say, "DJ," "unexpected" and "I have been to Minelli's exactly six times, even if I never remember the first time" in order to manage it, but, it just can't be like that, you know? It makes me not want to talk! and that's obviously not an option because God knows...

I've got a lot to say! :-)

GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER?
Joe (and not the familial kind). This Saturday, my southern pal Joe will roll into town for a quick bite to eat on his way north. Honestly, it's a really unexe

(Why am I have trouble spelling that word right now? What is wrong with me? I used to be a spelling whiz and right this second I can't spell that simple word?)

un ex pect ed

It's a really unexpected and welcomed surprise to be able to take a meal with someone who knows me in this funny way Joe does, and who is FREAKING HILARIOUS, but who hasn't been a part of all of the drama here the past nine months and two years. It should be good. And what the heck has he been up to beside kickin' it in awesome Charlotte? Then when we're finished, he'll go see his family in Michigan and I'll be off to the Grove City fireworks with Robert's family, which will be a great start to July, and the start of my two week countdown.

He probably hates when I do this, but seriously... :-) does that make you grin?!

LOADED QUESTIONS
(Yes, again, because it's proving that there is life out there)

1. What is it about you that people that people find irresistable?
2. If you were a city commissioner, what would you do to make your city better?
3. If I wanted to really annoy somebody, I would continually do this.
4. If you would only work on one body part at the gym, what would it be?
5. What song do you keep hearing over and over?
6. If you were in line at the deli right now, what might you order?
7. What might you title your autobiography?
8. Who is your favorite comedian?
9. What are your nightmares generally about?
10. What odd bodily habits do you have?

*and a bonus question that you don't need to answer, but I found amusing because of the way it's worded - "Whose face should be on the one dollar bill? (choose a name other than your own)" As if they KNEW that most people would choose their own!

1. According to Jason Coker, Robert.
2. Impove the bus system so that it basically suited my every need (and if I could also improve so that it better met the needs of other people and was financially solvent, even better).
3. Ask lots of annoying, probing questions, very similar to what I'm doing!
4. My arms and stomach. If I keep working those, I'll be a size 6 in no time, right! YIKES? See how I gave two answers even though the question asked for one? That's because technically, all of our muscles are connected eventually by something or other, right? Muscles stuck to ligaments stuck to bones or something like that. Sort of like my, "all roads lead home" theory.
5. There Goes My Life, by Kenny Chesney. It was playing when I started this.
6. There are no good deli's here, either. But if I were at a GOOD deli, I'd be at McAlister's in SC, and I'd be ordering a big fat ham sandwich on an onion roll, with potato salad, sweet tea (the BEST sweet tea) and a chocolate chip cookie, and we'd be going outside to sit. OH! and they have those AWESOME pot roast pototoes! YUM! Scott-Dev, that's another reason you can move to Columbia and love it.
7. This Is A Dumb Question.
8. I'm really enjoying Kathy Griffin these days. She can be a little bit vulgar, but mostly I just think she's a riot.
9. Driving on an elevated highway that's not finished, and not realizing it until I'm about to drive off of it!
10. I chew on my lip when I'm nervous. Brad Nichols was the first person to call me on it.

LOADED QUESTIONS
(listening to: If It's Magic - Stevie Wonder...nice song)

1. If you could name the home you're currently living in, what would you name it?
2. What American city does not deserve a place on the map? Why?
3. What color looks best on you?
4. What is the longest period of time you have spent in a car? Describe it.
5. What do Martians do for fun on Mars?
6. Where is the most beautiful place you've ever been?
7. If your name was a typical dog's name, what would it be?
8. Fill in the blank - Rap music makes me want to _____.
9. If your picture showed up on America's Most Wanted, what crime would you have committed?
10. What are your two favorite pizza toppings?

1. Tripsy.
2. Detroit. It's everything I hate about a city. The only thing good about Detroit which I have observed is that it has this wonderful bridge that leads to Canada.
3. Red, but not blue-red, yellow red. (edited later - that's probably not true. It's probably green, or turquoise).
4. 21 hours by myself, but admittedly, I stopped to sleep overnight in Tulsa. I was driving from Dayton to Houston via Tulsa and since 13 hours is about the longest I can drive myself without wanting to gouge my eyes out, Tulsa was my pit stop.
5. Martians on Mars drink Martinis while eating Mars candy bars and make fun of us trying to find them living in their holes undergound, I guess. That's what I would do if I lived on Mars, because clearly there's nothing else to do, might as well get drunk and fat.
6. Any number of places in western Colorado I've been could take this spot (Ouray, Ridgeway, Telluride, even my town, Montrose), but let's just choose a little spot by a river in Buena Vista, Colorado. We had taken our student ministry white water rafting, but were camping the night before along this river by the Collegiate Peaks Wildernenss Area, and once the kids were in bed, one of the parents and I sneaked off to just sit by the river and talk. It must have been midnight, crystal clear skies, fourtneers within eyeshot, and a moon as big as the sky. It was brilliant. Colorado IS brilliant. Lots of space to breathe.
7. Sparky.
8. Shake yo' ass, watch yo'self, shake yo' ass, show me whacha workin' with...
9. It's common knowledge that Brandi and I operate a brothel on the side, so that's probably what I'd get busted for.
10. Pepperoni and sausage.

SOUGHT. BOUGHT. SPENT. AND KEPT IN HIS WALLET.

Colossians 2:6-17 (the fake angie version)
6And now, just as you accepted Angie Osborne as your Lord, you must continue to live in obedience to her. 7Let your roots grow down into her and draw up nourishment from her, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all she has done.

I shared this verse with my high schoolers the night I resigned, as a way of highlighting the absurdity of what it would be like if they focused on me rather than Jesus as I resigned. They laughed as soon as I started reading, of course. Then I shared this verse, also of my own creation.

John 1:6-9 (the new Angie version)
God sent Angie to tell everyone about the light so that everyone might believe because of her testimony. Angie herself was not the light; she was only a witness to the light. The one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone, was going to come into the world later; the true light was Jesus.

Tonight I went to the viewing of a parent of one of the students in my old student ministry. Halfway through the viewing, I had to stop Wes Black from stooping down to the ground with a very LARGE, clownlike ruler, slipping Amanda's shoe off and measuring the heel of it just to see how tall it was. People everywhere were staring and gawking at the LOUD crowd of laughter ridden teenagers. As soon as I said, "Wes, you do realize that you're crouched on the ground with a ruler measuing a shoe at a VIEWING, right?" He immediately shot up and said, "OH! My gosh! You're right! I totally forgot! hahaha...Good call. Wow. Do you ever stop being a youth pastor?" I guess not. After the viewing, some of the students and volunteers who had gathered decided to go to Steak-N-Shake. I haven't spent time with most of these people since I resigned because it can so easily become an awkward situation for both me and them. I was especially excited though to see two of my Briggs boys, Don and Ralphael, because I don't normally have the opportunity to see them on the weekends at church since they don't attend our church (only the student ministry).

We were in the middle of dinner, talking about something completely random while Don and Ralphael were showing us pictures out of their wallets (mostly family pictures), when Ralphael said, "Hey Angie, you wanna see something. Take a look at this." He handed me a folded up piece of paper that looks like it had been folded and unfolded a hundred times into two inch by one inch square. I quickly saw that it was on Vineyard letterhead and immediately, I knew what it was. It was my resignation letter.

Amanda (another high schooler from a neighboring school) said, "Ralphey, what? You just carry that around? WHY?" He said, "I don't know. I just do. It means something to me. Angie do you remember when you gave us those?" "Yeah, Ralphael, I do. That's cool that you have that." After I'd looked it over for a moment, I folded it back up and gave it back, but then he handed me another slip of paper. It was some scripture he'd written down related to a sermon I'd taught one night, and said, "Yeah, and look at this. How about that?"

Yeah. How about that? *HEAVY sigh*

PROOF POSITIVE THAT I'M A TOTAL NERD
(and that I should get a job a soon).

If you happened to catch my long explanation of why I wanted to attend William and Mary, you'll know why this post is freaking awesome. If not, eh.

DID YOU KNOW THAT THEY FOUND JAMESTOWN? It's NOT underwater in the James River like they thought it was? It's true! Check it out!? I mean, if you're bored like I am and have nothing else to do. See the yellow outlines? Yeah. "I once was lost, but now I'm found" Jamestown.

When we lived in Virginia and toured Jamestown, we (and by we, I mean ALL the little school children in Virginia) were taught that the Jamestown settlement was just off the riverbank, settled in the James River, and the forts, houses, and stockhouses we were looking at were recreations because the actual settlement would never really be found. Well, look at that! MOM!!! Why did have to move to freaking Ohio! If we had stayed in Virginia, in 1994 when they rediscovered Jamestown, I would have been touring it with my History class, I'm sure, since we lived 20 minutes from it. They found the whole freaking thing! It didn't even make the news here?! How can that NOT be NATIONAL BREAKING NEWS?! Mr. G and Mr. Allen didn't even talk about it in class did they, Dev? They probably didn't even know. Stupid Northridge. :-( And yes, I know - I am "picking up some good things here in Ohio." But, the knowledge that Jamestown has been discovered? Not one of them until just now. Oh well. Next time I'm in Virginia, the REAL Jamestown is on my list.

LOADED QUESTIONS

I've decided to play a game (thanks monkeys), and you can play too if you'd like! Just post your answers in the comments section. My answers are below.

1. What was your favorite book growing up?
2. If you could choose/have chosen any college to attend, what would it be?
3. What do you generally sleep in at night?
4. Other than the standard items, (credit cards, money, DL) what interesting items do you keep in your wallet/purse?
5. What are you most neurotic about?
6. On a scale of 1-10, how "hip" are you?
7. Fill in the blank: I would eat 25 live cockroaches if they were covered with _____.
8. Where is the worst place to be stuck waiting?
9. If you were to construct your dream home, how many bathrooms would it have?
10. What is your favorite piece of clothing that you own?
______________________

1. James and the Giant Peach, by Ronald Dahl,and yes, I loved the movie as well. It was one of the few movie adaptations of a children's book that I felt accurately captured the imaginative possibilities that the book offered. Mr. K. introduced me to this book. He was my favorite teacher, but I can't really remember why, especially considering that I DO remember him giving my first really bad grade in math. Grr... and he gave me a Norman Rockwell cup when my family moved away. I think my mom still has it in Texas.

2. College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, VA. (yes, there was a long story about why here, but it was taking up half the page for goodness sake! the short version is W&M represented all that was historical and smart about living in Virginia when I was little, and I was sure that if I went there, I could grow up and work in government).

3. A bed. Hahaha...Light pajama pants and either a plain matching cotton tshirt or tank top.

4. Apparently, enough medicine that I could sell it on the black market and pay all Devan's rent.

5. Brushing my teeth every single night before I go to bed, without exception, no matter how tired I am, even if it's 2AM when I get in. That's not exactly neurotic...I think most people are like that, right? If I'm crazy neurotic about something else, correct me, but I think that's the biggest thing.

6. I'd say a 6. More than most, which I guess is 5, but really not much more than average. The fact that this question says "Hip" is decidedly unhip.

7. My dead body. I would have to BE dead in order for live cockroaches to be entering my mouth, so that's what would be covering them - my dead body.

8. Waiting in freeway traffic by the Greenlawn softball fields on a really hot day, because it stinks.

9. My "crazy out of this world, don't really need all that, but it would be cool to have" dream home would have 3.5 baths, but seriously, that's a heck of a lotta house!

10. Uh...honestly? This new, smaller bra because it fits so well, it makes everything else look nicer. My 9/10 jeans I bought a few weeks ago but have only just worn for the first time this weekend are pretty cool, too, but I have to get used to them first. They still feel weird.

APPLES TO APPLES TO APPLES.

This weekend? Well, the monkeys came, hooted and hollered or oofed and awwed, (whatever that sound is that monkeys make), and then left. While they were here, we discovered that Apples to Apples is best not played with just three people. It's really rather dull that way, and so we only played that for about three hands before we quit. But now Scott and Devan know that there's this cool game out there worth owning. Unfortunately, there are no other people in the town where they live, so they had a better chance of comparing Apples to Apples here than there. THERE it would just be Apples. And you know what that leads to? Scott knows. ;-)

While they were here, we went to dinner with the female primate's parents. It took only two hours of deliberations before they got here to decide where we would take them, and because I'm something of a people pleaser like that (and because her parents are a bit picky and like down-home food and because Scott and Dev and I were trying very hard to avoid Bob Evans/Cracker Barrel yet again ((that's where we always go with her parents, and Scott and Dev can go there whenever they want))... I had decided we'd go to Cate's. Then at the last second, I changed my mind and decided Hoggy's because I figured it would have a larger selection of that style of food. Once we got to Hoggy's - it comes out that all her parents really wanted was STEAK, and all Scott and Dev wanted was a salad?! So to Cate's we went. We had a nice dinner and everyone seemed to enjoy their food. Oh - for future reference though, the BBQ Shrimp at Cate's is good, but I wouldn't pay $7.50 for it (we didn't pay for it, Doug had just sent it out to us to try for no good reason!).

On Saturday night I went to church and wondered what the message was about, only to realize that it was "bring a friend" weekend, when the message is aimed specifically at not-yet-believers, and so while of course the gospel is ALWAYS relevant to everyone, the feeling I had of, "HUH?" was fairly valid. Then, some friends and I spent some time downtown. I know that I've said this recently, but our city is beautiful. It is really captivating to stare at during a late, clear night.

Today was Hannah's sixth birthday party.

(that's Hannah at Bob's apartment last year. I love this picture!)

I really don't know how Hannah was manufactured so cute. The big surprise for Hannah (and me!) was a call from Robert! She was kind of speechless and didn't know what to say once he got on the phone with her. Then once she got off the phone with him, she ran over to me straightaway and said, "Do you know who that was? Uncle Bob!?" and after standing there staring at me completely still for a few moments, fell into my lap in a giggly mess.

Good stuff. It felt like a long weekend, and I'll be glad to hit the sack tonight (edited in later while I am correcting typos - I didn't go to sleep for another four or five hours. My sleeping is broken again).

OH! one last thing for this post. Robert and I had booked a hotel in London, but then had the bright idea to try to find a Vineyard family from a local church to stay with instead. So I started emailing churches and/or networking with my friends to see if any of them knew someone who might be interested in hosting us for the time that we're there. "Ka-CHOW!" as Craig might try to say! Just this evening when I arrived home from the party, there was an invitation from a family just outside of the city inviting us! (edited in later: and this morning, she sent me an email telling me about she and her husband and their kids! How exciting!) Holy hospitality, eh? Tom should be careful what he dares us to do, we might just go take him up on it!

Somebody must take a chance: The monkeys who became men, and the monkeys who didn't are still jumping around in trees making faces at the monkeys who did. (Lincoln Steffens)

My risky monkey goofballs are coming for a visit today. Scott and Devan will be here in just a matter of hours, around 1PM or 2PM. This picture pretty much describes Scott and Dev - taking the world by storm, but monkeying around while they do it (with no shoes on either, so maybe not quite prepared for the adventures they're getting themselves into, but not letting that stop them from going in with guns blazing and together)! What fun!

SHOULD I BUILD A POPCORN STRING OR SOMETHING?


So really, I'm NOT counting the days, but we're getting close to running out of weeks to count here. Three.

THREE. Pinky, Ring and Middle. Thumb, Index and Middle. However it's most convenient for you, those how I'm counting, but either way, I'm down to three, and after this, THEN I'm going to start counting DAYS. And you know what comes after three weeks is up and I finish up the whole of 14 days? Seven days...which you don't even count in DAYS. You just say "this week." Yeah. See - THIS is why I can't count in days yet. It's as bad as December! Christmas and my birthday rolled into one month, two weeks apart from one another...all this counting in days and weeks. And everyone asking me, "Oh yeah - Robert's coming home soon, isn't he?!" OH IS HE?! REALLY? Hmmm... I'll have to check my calendar. I hadn't noticed. There's a word for this... what's it called?

;-)

NO MEGAN, I'M NOT UP FOR A CONCERT.

If you click that video, you might be offended. Ok, you've been warned.

It's a parody of a major Christian worship production house. I think it's funny. Megan invited me to a worship concert this week...er, actually, she sort of invited me. She invited the whole crew on the blog, and then when we were together as a group talking about it, she told me that she'd told Craig already, "Yeah, I don't think Angie is the type that would like to go to a worship concert really..."

I think THAT'S funny, because it's as true as it is UNTRUE. This week, it happens to be true. In fact, the very day that she said that, I'd started to blog out this huge post about the latest Cutting Edge.pdf, a magazine published by the National Vineyard office and how it just made me want to puke. Actually, the post was much more reasoned than that. I read it and mused to myself, "It's no wonder the Vineyard is comprised mostly of white late thirty somethings led by aging boomers." I have a growing disdain for the white American church, or maybe just the marketing of the Great White Church. There are places in the article that promote a STYLE of worship as the emerging way of worship and therefore the way to go if you want to grow and reach people (unplugged, reflective, emergent, earthy)...not to mention places where the author describes actual musical techniques that worship leaders should employ to make their worship team better and more able to draw people into the presence of the Lord...only those musical styles -- are styles that stand in opposition to hip hop and pop. If worship leaders employed those techniques, they could not physically draw out a hip hop beat, or string together a pop-sounding song that is also worshipful.

So I guess that in the Vineyard, to these guys, you have to fit this box, or better yet this circle ----> O <----- because there are no boxes in the Vineyard, it's too free flowing for boxes. Did I mention that on both American Top 40 and MTV's TRL, 70% of the songs currently playing are either hip hop or pop? You know the target ages of listeners for those charts are 30 and under? Why can't I go to church and hear a little happy in my beat? Why always with the forlorn acoustic and overlayed harmonies? Or even something that resembles the other 30% of those charts? Maybe a little Coldplay-esque? OH! How about something like Gnarls Barclay! WHY does the church think WORSHIP music has to sound like one dang thing in order for it BE worship!?

Did you know that three of my friends secretly listen to black gospel music, and like it? And when they found out that I do, too, were really happy to know that they weren't freaks? (WELL, you're not off the hook yet guys). They said, "I just love it. It feels so much less fake, like that stuff that we listen to at church. I mean, I like that stuff too, but this is the good stuff." One friend went so far as to say, "I mean, if I were really going through something rough, I wouldn't want someone to bring me some of the music that we hear at church, I'd want them to bring me some of this stuff. It's like what someone would actually SAY to you. This is like a conversation. What God might say."

Now listen, this isn't to say that we have bad or wrong worship music at the Vineyard. It's GOOD, it's RIGHT, it's QUALITY. It's the kind that makes space for you to meet God. But it's not the only kind...and sometimes, it would be really great to have a different kind, and I wonder if we wouldn't have a better representation of the flavors of the earth if we didn't also represent the flavors of worship better, too. I'm not talking about every little niche here, but when 70% of a major emerging market is listening to a type of music that we're just ignoring? Would it hurt to try to bring in a little beat or flava? (Yes, I know. I'm totally white and I just wrote flava. SO. I've got stripes, remember. I can say that and get away with it. Doesn't mean I don't sound like a dope saying it, but I can still say it.)

LONG POST FOR THE INTERESTED ONLY...

Apparently my pals over at the YMX have been been having a mildly interesting conversation in a thread that originally started out as "I don't support our troops," (a conversation I obviously wouldn't jump into. Doesn't that smack of being inflammatory, especially when had with a bunch of mostly male youth pastors who usually don't know jack about world history, politics, military strategy or missions, yet like to play like they do). But, in just the last few posts it evolved into something interesting. I didn't even know - another friend IM'ed me and told me to go read it, because he knew I'd be interested. XX reamed me a few months ago for saying there is a place for missionaries who go to countries and don't do strict open air evangelism and the like, but rather serve the people and build relational bridges towards the gospel (and also share the gospel as quickly as possible)...so the way this post evolves is crazy. Remember, when you start reading, you're jumping into a convo about our military presence in other countries and so on...

GraceSeeker: If you mean with any other groups, I would say that there have been successes. Notably Camp David accords that have kept Israel and Egypt and Israel and Jordan at peace with each other for years. Libya is no longer the beligerant it once was. Turkey has become one of our stronger allies. Conversation is what finally quieted Northern Ireland. And it was the Marshall plan, not a marshalling of troops that won the peace at the end of WW2. A similar strategy with the mideast at that same time, rather than carving it up into "protectorates" might have made for a better more peaceful world today.

XX: Peacemaking doesn't just involve governments signing treaties. It may involve para-government humanitarian troops representing, not the American people, but the kingdom of God. It may involve working behind the scenes and under the radar providing a better life for people. Usually, when people are confortable with life (not desparate), they are not easily swayed by ideaologues promoting violence. Unfortunately, when people are confortable, they are also not easily swayed into leaving their confortable lives to promote the kingdom of God (yes, I include myself in that category).

dkst0426: Hmm.........you do realize that in certain parts of the world, regardless of whether or not there is American involvement in such a group/organization/effort, it's going to be viewed as a precursor for a newer version of the Crusades, right?

XX: Yeah, all that handing out food and medical care to the poor and destitute is easily confused with European armies marching in to protect the Holy Land from Muslim conquerors.

dkst0426: You will please note the use of the word "precursor." The sentence did NOT read "...it's going to be viewed as a newer version of the Crusades..." How long before anyone accepting such assistance is denounced as an apostate? And how long before one--just ONE--mullah or imam or Ayatollah with a microphone begins the rhetoric of "This is just the first step"? Of course I'd support such a mission. Heck, the adventurous streak in me thinks I'd even like to sign up for that, but do you deny that what I just posited above could very likely happen?

XX: Honestly, I could see it happening and being effective in small portions of the Middle East for a short period of time. In the long run, I don't see it having much effect. But hey, the Romans claimed early Christians were cannibals, and we know how that strategy ultimately worked.

dkst0526: So what would these peacemakers be doing? Bringing about a detente, or converting Muslims?

XX: There will be some conversions, but that will be secondary to caring for orphans, providing medical care, offering food, creating job opportunities, rebuilding or building schools, water pumps, power plants. Then, when the conversions happen and the fatwas are declared, people will stop and think, "These people care about me, my family, and this community, and the Islamic leaders only care about subjegating me. Hmm . . ." Of course, there will be martyrs. It will get ugly. That is only to be expected when the Church is doing its job.

GraceSeeker: OK, Sam [XX], I was agreeing with you for most of what you were saying. But this idea that the Church might have to be willing to lay down its life in order to gain something bigger than life. That's crazy talk. Where did you come up with something like that?

XX: It was in this book I read.
__________________________________________________

Now, in another thread, posted a short while after this one, XX posted this:

I NEED TO LEAVE AMERICA:
Not for good, but I need to go on a mission trip. The only one I've ever been on was one mission trip to Mexico in high school. That was just to build houses. It was a good experience, but I never really interacted with the people there. I just blended into the group I was with. To be honest, I've been too comfortable and too scared to go on another. Now . . . I think its time. So I'm asking for prayer for this. Prayer that if this is what God wants me to do, he'll open the doors and let me know where and when to go.

Of course, you can imagine imagine the chuck of real estate where I encouraged him to go. Not just our chunk, but the broader chunk of the 10/40. Let's see if he'll put money where his very loud mouth is. He could be one that goes there. He's bold enough, I just know it. This is a very BIG change of heart for XX, actually...and a change like this might as well go where it has space to breathe.

REASON #14 NOT TO LIVE IN HOUSTON.

Why does this make me giggle!? Mom called just now to tell me that Houston is flooded...AGAIN. Apparently they got 10-14 inches of rain in just over 2 hours, so of course, Houston is doing what Houston does - flooding. HAHA...and Houstonians are doing what they do! Driving through it! Check out the videos here! Some of you have heard me tell stories about how Houston floods when it rains, and I *think* you think I exaggerate. Well, these highways that they're showing are the MAJOR highways in Houston, some of them elevated, so when they say it's flooding, they MEAN it. Like I said, reason #14 not to live in Houston: floods. I'd love it for the beautiful sunsets and awesome CITY, but...

(Mom. Robert. Cristi. Wipe the smirks off your faces. I know that you're thinking the more I say stuff like that, the more likely I am to someday live in Houston. Rest assured if that ever happened, I'd focus my energies on north Houston where it's DRY and the people aren't stupid. Not that YOU'RE stupid, Mom, you're not. But you get my drift.)

OKAY, ONE MORE MINUTE, AND THEN IF THERE ARE TWO PINK LINES...(QUAGMIRE, FAMILY GUY)

Two pinks lines later, and my brother Alex and his wife Carrie are having a baby!




I knew last week, but was waiting for the "official word" from headquarters in Dallas/FTW because Carrie had been having some complications and was in the hospital. BUT! All is well now - she's out and doing well! WOO HOO! I don't suppose I've ever had pictures to pass along here, so gang - meet Alex and Carrie (and baby in there somewhere)!

NOW, BACK TO THE BAR JOKES.

HI. I'm still not dead. I promise. See.

I took THIS picture this week. And if I were dead, I couldn't do that. Just haven't had much to write about, I guess. I've been doing stuff, just haven't known what to SAY about that stuff, but since I berated you guys for that same thing a few weeks ago, I guess I better give it a go. Let it be known that once you are a seasoned blogger though, you ARE allowed to actually take a break every once in a while, so please stop sending me hate mail for not blogging this week and I'll get back at it.


This is Megan. We went "shopping" this week, but I suppose that "shopping" would imply actually purchasing something. I really just wanted to play dress up with Megan. Megan is just a little taller than I am, but her legs start about four feet before mine do, so she can wear things I could only dream of, so she's fun to play dress up with. I mean - doesn't that outfit look really great on her? Yeah, people: it serves noone if you wear jeans that don't fit you well (trust me, I know. I did it for too long, and unfortunately, am still doing it with my jeans as I shrink out of them). Find some awesome jeans and "work em!" Like these - the first time Megan put them on, she was like, "OH MI GOSH! These are too tight!" So I brought her the next size up. She had those on for a while, then said, "Um, I think the other ones fit better." Exactly. Oh yeah - and Brandi - you should know that Megan is actively looking for a pair of silver or gold heels to own, too! Cute, right? These jeans would look great with just a plain ol' tshirt too, that's the thing. Doesn't have to be anything dressy...We tried them on with her flip flops, too. So that's one thing I've been up to this week. I did it with another friend's mom, too (Judy Shrader, for those who are interested).

This is Tanya. We spent some time at the pool and the gym this week (that is a great thing about living in an apartment community - free pool and gym). I've told Tanya that as I've lost weight, and my face has gotten smaller, my smile and my nose have gotten larger! This picture is proof. Nonetheless, the smile is pretty big because Tanya and I have all sorts of silly fun at the pool. Did you know that Tanya can do a 17 second one handed hand-stand? Yup. It's true. She's practically ready for the Olympics.

THIS is my city, as snapped from the banks of the river tonight at the Latino Festival. Now, the Latino Festival was fun because I was with my crew (Megan, Craig and Brandy), of course...BUT, of all of the festivals I've been to so far in C'bus, I think this has been my least favorite. It was madness. People EVERYWHERE. Maybe it would have been better if we hadn't gone on Saturday night? But seriously - look at this city? Isn't it beautiful? You know what it made me think of as we were standing on the banks of the river, looking at the sparkling twinkling lights of the buildings, and I was thinking about all of the places in this city that I have explored over the past year or two? All of the adventures that I've had in the hidden, tucked away places all over Columbus?

Yeah. HAHAHA! Robert, that nerd. And how I'm going to leave this city to go to another to see him in less than a month. LESS THAN A MONTH. I mean, we're down to being able to count in DAYS now, aren't we (not that I do, really, I don't, I really count in weeks still), but it's awesome that I COULD count in days if I wanted to. If I did, I'd say, "I'm going to see Robert in London in...27 days (or 26 if you're him). Awesome. And in 31 days (his time), Robert will be rolling back into Columbus, seeing that same skyline from the picture above. Pretty awesome, too...

The last thing happening this week of course has been the updates with my mom. At this point, it will be easiest if you read along with her on her blog. She has vowed to keep it updated frequently. The doctors biopsied some of the tumors and confirmed that they were cancer (which they already knew). basically, there's no new news, they're just doing more tests to figure out how much cancer and where, and then they'll know what treatment to start and where. Keep praying! And send some emails and comments and thoughts her way. Maybe she'd like to hear from you...

Any questions or comments about this update can be directed to me personally. Any hate mail generated about this update can directed to...um...let's say...Craig! Why not? hahaha...

WELL DONE, GOOD AND FAITHFUL JOLLENBECKS.

I have but one passion - it is He, it is He alone. The world is the field and the field is the world; and henceforth that country shall be my home where I can be most used in winning souls for Christ. (Count Zinzindorf)

(Trevor says hi)

(She come thousands of miles home from South America,
and what does she want? Mexican food at Casa Fiesta!)

(Is Scott hearing from God at this exact moment,
or is he "hearing" from the beans?)

THE DRUKEN STORMTROOPER

So I have a friend who just LOVES Star Wars. Earlier this week, she went to see the Star Wars exhibit at COSI with a little girl she babysits. She told me all about it that afternoon, about the Millenium Falcon that is there, and about how she got to take pictures that are going to make her brother jealous, and all sorts of things like that. (Lucky for him, the exhibit will still be here when he gets home next month, and will still be here for a few months even after that). I've only seen the first three episodes (in release order) so I can't say that I "get" the whole Star Wars thing just yet, but I enjoyed the ones I've seen. But this friend - she's a FAN! I could see her face light up as she talked about the different exhibits.

Well, later that night, she and I went out with some friends to dinner, and as this friend is prone to doing, she had a few drinks. Limon something, if I remember correctly?? She's been talking for a while about wanting some sort of mixed drink with lemon in it, so I guess this was her chance after having such a great day at COSI with the other Star Wars fans. So imagine our amusement when my friend pulls out a Storm Trooper helmet from her giant purse! I can only imagine she either bought this helmet at the gift shop, or snatched it from some back hallway exhibit when the performers weren't looking. We were in stitches, rolling on the floor laughing as our friend proceeded to break out a little "Storm Trooper" dance to the muzak playing!

Little did she know, I had my trusty cell phone camcorder rolling, as I always do for moments just like these... Enjoy!



;-) and remember - this is my story, and I'll tell it however I want to tell it!

THAT WOULD HIT THE SPOT.

There is one good thing about Texas, and it's this spot. Literally.

The Spot is a restaurant in Galveston, an island off the coast of Houston. And The Spot hits THE SPOT everytime. Now I know that I haven't exactly traveled the world just yet, so I might not be qualified to say this, BUT I have been around the U.S. a bit... and The Spot has the BEST hamburgers, cheeseburgers, onion rings, and Coke I will ever taste. I dare anyone to set a better tasting one of those in front of me - it just isn't possible. Cristi - if you're reading - the kids really like this place. Surprise them one day for me and take them there. Oh - and be sure they get a chocolate chip cookie too! OH! I'd forgotten about the cookies! Yet another reason The Spot ranks as one of my fav. restaurants. Dang! and it's in Texas!?

One of the others is on Tybee Island, GA. It's the place where we fake named Devan's car "Simon Crabdaddy." What the heck is the real name of that place then, Dev? I can only think of it as Crabdaddy's? Those hushpuppies are soooo yummy! Ah, life at the beach...

Take 133.

I like W, but this makes me laugh. (Ugh. Hopefully it will play all the way through for you. I saw it last night on TV, so I KNOW it's funny, but when I checked it just now, it stopped about 20 seconds through...maybe it's just my player. VERY funny though...)

I KNOW WHAT I WAS FEELING...BUT WHAT WAS I THINKING?
That about sums up Thursday, huh? ;-)

So, it's 1:30AM on Thursday night/Friday morning, and I'm still pretty much WIDE AWAKE. "WHY!?" you might wonder.

It's the X-Men's fault.

Yeah. The X-Men. Blasted X-Men! Brandi and I went to see X-Men III tonight around 9:30, got home around 11:30, and I'm still awake. Can I just say that the X-Men movies continue to live up to the hype? I'm not going to give away anything because I know that there is a particular reader who will not have the opportunity to see the movie in all of its glory until he gets home, but...really?! It's pretty great.

In other movie related news...


A Prairie Home Companion comes out today (Friday). This is one of those movies you have to see with a particular (maybe even peculiar) person, or just see it by yourself. Not just everyone appreciates Prairie Home Companion in the first place, right? And, those people who who DON'T usually make fun of those of us who do, so they definitely wouldn't get the movie. Where's Patrick when you need him?? (Yet another reason to hate Texas).

And, speaking of people that I hardly ever see. The big news yesterday was that Al-Zarqawi was killed, of course, but did you notice that the USS Cole was sent back into service? My dad repaired the Cole, did you know that? He's a welder. I think he is most proud of this job, partly because in order to work on that particular ship, he had to be naval nuclear certified (or something like that, I don't know. It's kind of gibberish to me, to be honest. He said it's a very high level of certification and that only six or seven guys in VA have it, and that it also comes with a big old security clearance.) When I saw him last March, he showed me pictures of the Cole, and of the work he and his crew did on the interior damage (obviously the exterior damage had to be repaired enough before it left Yemen for it to sail home to Langley). He also thought it a particular "kick" to be able to weld new, bigger guns onto the top of the ship. Dad's a rowdy guy, so I guess HE WOULD think welding these guns that are bigger than he is onto a battleship so "it could steam back out there and blow the motherf-ing heads off those sons of b-tc-es" as he put it was kind of cool.

Anyway, 365 days a year most years, I'd have no idea where to find my dad if I needed to find him. I have to just call and leave a message at whatever phone number I happen to have for him that year (or, the better option, which is to leave a message at Granpa's, still not always a safe bet, depending on if they're on good terms at the time). NOT TODAY. I think I could have found my dad today. Today, I'd lay money on the idea that my dad was in a boat somewhere within eyeshot of the Cole leaving port at Langley. I remember many days on the boat taking a cruise past the Navy piers just to gaze at those ships. Those ships are HHHHUUUUUGGGGEEEE HUGE! even the smallest ones are so much larger than you'd imagine them being on the television. Yeah, I'll bet that's where he was today, cruising around the bay, with a Sunkist and peanuts in one hand...some Lynyrd Skynyrd playing on his old radio...saying "see ya you old lady" to that ship that he worked so hard to fix. Well, maybe it's not a Sunkist exactly...

STEALING THE GOOD LIFE, WK. 3

Click here to download Week Three of Stealing the Good Life.

OH! THAT'S GONNA HURT IN THE MORNING.



And it WILL hurt, but at least it will be the "good" kind of hurt. Oh, and to get it to go away, I'll have to do it again! I pulled out my Firm workout DVD this morning, lugged my laptop downstairs (because Cristi took the DVD player with her so the only DVD player I have is the laptop) and broke a sweat with my old pal Emily, master Firm instructor. Actually, I didn't sweat too much. That's not how the Firm works. They sneak in your workout, and then the next day, you think you've been hit by a mack truck and can hardly walk up the stairs.

Guaranteed results in 10 workouts! It's true, too - I've done these before. You know what I love about the Firm? There's no gimmick. They just WORK YOUR BUTT OFF. They squat, lunge, row, lift and press whatever moves until your body is beat into better shape. Ugh! Here's to a better me in 10 workouts...and a lot better me after that!

HOT NEW SOUNDS FROM THE AK


You know that every once in a while I'll discover a band that I feel like I just HAVE to share with my faithful few. Well, this is one of those times.

Gary's Parachute. Unforunately, I don't have any mp3's to pass along because those links on the site weren't working properly to where I can link to them, so you'll have to go google it yourself - perhaps you can make your way to same site I did and check back to see if it's working, but if you do, your ears will rise up and call themselves blessed for getting a peek at this alternative country rock band.

And, as I was reading about the members of the band, I gotta say, the pedal guitar player seemed particularly interesting and intelligent (you know normally, I wouldn't go for guys in bands; they seem sort of flaky and lost to me, but there was something different about this one). The way he writes about the redemption of his life after having spent time in Riker's Island? It's obvious that God has done something great in his life and that he'd spend his life sharing that with other people, no matter what. I know, I know - he's in a band - not exactly an altruistic, philanthropic way to do it, but hey, if plucking some strings is the talent God gave him, then at least he's using that talent, right? Not to mention the fact that Forrest Green is his favorite color and burgers are his favorite food (well, and not JUST that Forrest Green is his fav. color, but that he spelled Forrest with two R's. Smart man, that Pedal Guitar player). We really do have a lot in common. I'll bet that we'd get along pretty well if we ever met. AND, to top it all off, he's super cute. He's really tall, which I like, and he has bright blue eyes and a really big smile. What more could I ask for? He loves music, would spend his life telling others about the good life (but not in a cheesy way - remember - this is an ALTERNATIVE country ROCK band), and he's super cute?

I mean really... Gary's Parachute. Go check it out, y'all. You won't regret it!

MEMO TO THE DISORGANIZED:
If my private world is in order, it will be because I am convinced that the inner world of the spiritual must govern the outer world of activity.

I'm reading two books right now, "Visioneering," by Andy Stanley, and "Ordering Your Private World," by George Macdonald. Both I've read before. The first expounds on the book of Nehemiah, one of my favorites in the Bible. It rides the coattails of the Stealing the Good Life series rather neatly, helping me to put some structure again to my own visions and plans for my life. It should be a must read for anyone who felt a dramatic pull towards that series, seriously. They key phrase of the book: God's vision for your life is that picture of what could be and should be fueled by the conviction that it must be. Figure out what that is - and you've got it.

The second book, "Ordering Your Private World..." Have you read it? Judging by the fact that my notes and underlines are made using a bright pink gel pen, I'd say I first read it while working at Kettering Assembly of God in Dayton (because that's when Pastor Brad gave each of the staff one of those pens for highlighting books). I must have been 19 or 20 at the time then. As I get further into reading it, I'm sure I'll share some of my own thoughts about it, but until then, here are some of the underlines from back in the day. It should be interesting to see if these same parts stick out to me again. And yes, I know, you have no context for these excerpts...So sad for you. Go buy the book!

It is one thing for a person to make a mistake, or even to fail. We learn our best lessons of procedure and character under such conditions. But it is another thing to watch human beings disintegrate before our very eyes because there were no resources of interior support in the midst of the pressure.

To deal with drivenness, one must begin to ruthlessly appraise one's own motives and values just as Peter was forced to do in his periodic confrontations with Jesus. The person seeking relief from drivenness will find it wise to listen to mentors and critics who speak Christ's words to us today. He may have some humbling acts of renuciation, some disciplined gestures of surrender of things - things that are not necessarily bad, but that have been important for all the wrong reasons.

(on being called, not driven, and how stewardship plays a role): John's view of stewardship presents us with an important contemporary principle. For his crowds may be our careers, our assets, our natural and spiritual gifts, our health. Are these things owned, or merely managed in the name of the One who gave them. Driven people consider them owned, called people do not. When driven people lose them, it is a major crisis. When called people lose them, nothing has changed. The private world remains the same, perhaps even stronger.

About Jesus' command of time:
1. He clearly understood his mission. He had a key task to pursue, and he measured His use of time against that sense of mission.
2. He understood His own limits. He knew that He would need time to gather His reserves from time to time.
3. He set aside time for training the twelve.

And so it continued: strong people in my world controlled my time better than I did because I had not taken the initiative to command the time before they got to me.

Until we believe that prayer is indeed a real and highly significant activity, that it does in fact reach beyond space and time to the God who is actually there, we will never acquire the habits of worship and intercession. In order to gain these habits, we must make a conscious effort to overcome the part of us that thinks that praying is not a natural part of life.

RACE FANS, I HAD INFERRED FROM MY ONE TRIP TO THE BRICKYARD 400, FELL INTO ONE OF TWO CATEGORIES: TATTOOED, SHIRTLESS, SEWER-MOUTHED DRUNKS, AND THEIR HUSBANDS. (STEVE RUCCHIN)

It's funny how some things in life never change. It has been twenty years since the last time that my mom and dad tortured me by making me go to a __________ (insert one of the following: drag race, monster truck rally, stock car race, nascar race, funny car race, motorcycle race, tractor pull), and I STILL hate the races. Tonight, some of my friends and I went to the Columbus Motor Speedway to celebrate one of our friend's 30th birthday. It's what she wanted for her birthday, and so it's what we did. This friend leaned down in the middle of the 82nd lap and said, "Thanks for coming. It means a lot that you would because I know that you're hating every minute of this." I told her that yes, indeed, I was hating the EVENT that we were attending, but that I loved her and was happy to be able to make this happen for her, because she really did look happy. I wanted her to understand that the fact that I hate them is not meant to be any sort of judgement against her in any way at all. It's just that I hate them because I hate the LOUDness of them, and the rowdiness of the race itself. I really just DON'T like them, and there's nothing wrong with me not liking races or the race environment any more than there is her loving it. That's all. If the races could be QUIET, and without danger to the drivers or fans, and not take so long? They might fun...and if they could take place on a square field, and if the drivers could have to push around a ball between the corners of the field while trying to score points as they push the ball to the home corner, that would be great. But that would basically be baseball... :-)

Here are some pictures from tonight, just to verify that I was in fact at the races. I had a good time with Megan and the crew tonight (I always do). I hope that she had a good 30th Bday! It was fun despite the event itself. Take a good look, because I will NEVER be posting pictures of myself at the races again.

(Columbus Motor Speedway)

(Megan, the birthday girl, with our friend Rob)

(Craig)

(Brandy couldn't be at the race, but joined us at Perkins for dessert)

(Brandi and I, posin' our mugs for the camera as usual)

PT 1, COINCIDENCE OR CONSPIRACY?
(long post. sorry. I'm totally rambling)

Yesterday was a busy blog day! Tammy said that I probably have too much time on my hands (which is totally true, btw), but I had a comeback ready: I was just getting ready to go out with Tanya the Newly Reformed Blogger to paint the town red(read: run some errands), and so blog central was going to be taking a break. I had no idea the chaos that was about to ensue.

Stops #1 and #2 were pretty normal, quick jaunts into some businesses to pick up applications. I have an interview this afternoon at 2PM. I'll tell you more about it (and the logic behind possibly working somewhere that is so far removed from my field) if I get the job.

But somewhere between Stops #1 and #2, it started to rain. And not just drizzle a little, I mean holy mother of God downpour. Lucky for us Stop #3 was in the same parking lot: a clothing store where I was going to attempt to buy yet another pair of jeans a size smaller than I've been wearing lately. I went in looking for a size 9/10 of their jeans (remember - those 12's from the GAP? Well when we were running for our lives across the parking lot to keep from getting drenched, I had to stop in order to pull them up off my hips. I'd say it's time for a new pair of jeans, wouldn't you?). I have a pair of 11/12's from this place, too, and I totally can't wear them anymore. Hey - if anyone wants that pair, you can have them.

But wouldn't you know it? We get there, and there's not one pair of 9/10 short left in the entire store?! (Well, not of their normal stock jean. There were of the designer $65.00 jeans. I don't need those.) So I called the associate over, and begged, "PLEASE! I HAVE to find a pair of your jeans today in this size. Please tell me you have ONE more pair in the back??" She said, "Yeah, that's our most popular size. Really - there's NONE left here?? Let me look." So she does, and then, it's as if the thunder and lightning outside stop, light shines down from heaven, and that Noah's ark that's been floating by?? it just sort of slinks off into the distance as the water recede... because she pulls out the for real LAST pair of 9/10 short off the shelf! So, I went and tried them on, and they're great!

I called Tanya over to see if they really looked ok or maybe they were too tight. If you've been shopping with me at all, you'll know that I have this issue. Why was her first response "Angie, your butt?! Wow." What is wrong with you people? One of you is infatuated with my boobs and now Tanya with my butt? hahaha...I just wanted to know if my jeans fit! Well, they did. Right at that moment though - the lights went out! Power outage! And just moments later the sales clerk came through and said she'd need us to wrap up our shopping and head out because of the outage.

I panicked. I thought she meant I wouldn't be able to purchase my last-on-the-shelf-size-9/10-short-jeans! Lucky for her (because I think I might have pounced on her if she had said otherwise), they know how to wrte paper tickets in case of a power outage. But this is where the afternoon just get starts getting silly. The next part has to be continued in new post...

PT 2, BOOTY, BOOTY, BOOTY, BOOTY, CHURCH GIRL!

There was a whisperblackladywhisper standing at the counter checking out before us, and I don't know HOW we got to talking about it, but she mentioned going to the Columbus Arts Festival this weekend with her honey. Then she said, "Yeah, but I just know that we're going to run into a bunch of people we know. All those damn people up in my face. I just wanna be like "Sheeeeaatt, mind yo' own business," or something like that. And I just laughed, first of all at the use of the word "sheeeeaaat, but then because I was having this funny flashback to last year's Arts Festival and since we had nothing else to do but wait on the clerk to hand write her ticket, thought I might as well tell her about it. *Bob, feel free to correct that spelling if it's not quite right.

For those that don't know, it's the largest festival in Columbus. Tens of thousands of people come to it each year, and it features music, arts and crafts, and fine arts. At the time, I was on staff at the church, and Bob was the missions director at the church, so we knew when we took our place on the lawn to listen to a latin band, no funny stuff. No making out like high school students or wild dogs, because you never know when someone might see you, right?? hahaha... OK, let's just get real. 1) it's not like we'd do that anyway and 2) there were LITERALLY tens of thousands of people there!? It's not like anyone would see us even if we did! We go to a church of 1200, too. What are the odds? I'll tell you the odds. 500,000:1200:6:2:2. In a crowd of 500,000 over the course of one weekend, in a church of 1200, at least six of those people were visiting the Arts Festival on the same day Bob and I were. And those six, found the two of us. And of those six, two of them had the guts to come up to us while we're (not) making out like mad dogs on the lawn and say hello to us in that insidious tone that said, "Oh, I wish I had my paparrazi-like camera now. Wouldn't Tom be proud of me for finding the of you entwined on one another just so and practically about to make babies?" hahahaha... Oh but I digress. Seriously, I do!

So, I'm telling this story to the black lady at Maurice's, and she just sort of looks at me and says, "Wait, you work at a church? And I've been standing here cussin' for like 15 minutes? Oh, sweetie, I am SO sorry!" I said, "Oh, it's okay. Really. Thank you, but it's not a big deal." She said, "OH! Well then... DAAAAMMMN!!!" We all chuckled. I said, "I don't work at the church anymore either." She said, "Yeah, I didn't think you look liked no church girl."

??????!!!!! Uh?? When did that happen? Was it the shoes?? Maybe it was my butt in those jeans?

No. I'll tell you what it was. Earlier in the store, while she was walking around, she heard Tanya say those jeans made my butt look good, and she muttered under her breath, "booty, booty, booty, booty...I think I need to go find me some booty jeans." And I said to her, "Did you just say "booty, booty, booty, booty..." about MY butt??! That's too funny!" She got a big old chuckle out of the fact that I heard her...and said, "YOU said, "booty...girrrrlll!" I think Tanya wanted to not look like a church girl either, because she asked if she looked like a church girl, and the lady looked her up and down and said, "Um, yeah, you do. You work at the church, don't you?" HAHA! I DON'T look like a church girl, and I DID work at the church. Tanya DOES and she didn't. How ironic. So Tanya asked the lady why I didn't and she does, and she said, "I don't know???" I said, "I know why. It's because I knew what booty, booty, booty, booty...was about, isn't it?" She laughed really loudly and said, "You know what, it probably is, you're right. I wouldn't expect you to know that."

Oh Maurice's. What fun! Shortly after that, I bought my size 9/10 short jeans, took my 10% off coupon they gave for "poor service" because of the power outage, my other coupon the black lady gave me for a pair of free sunglasses if I spend over $50 (which I totally will considering that I'm going back today to get a few shirts)...and headed back out into the deluge for the rest of the MADNESS that was to come. Seriously people, I'm not making this up. If I'm going to get out of my apartment for a few hours, yesterday was a good way to do it...But you know, after shopping, we were HONGRY. Time to eat.

PT 3, DID NOAH HAVE THIS MUCH TROUBLE?

Like I said, by this time it had started to rain. Power was out all over Grove City, and it was approaching rush hour, and WE were approaching the 71/Stringtown split. Not a good place to be when it's freaking crazy-raining, and the power is out and the police aren't there yet to to direct traffic. And, you're hungry, and you're us and indecisive.

First, we decide on Vito's. What a great standby, huh? You really can't go wrong with Vito's. Tanya's a good Canadian-America, and a REALLY good Columbus-ian??, in that she wants to try new restaurants all the time and go explore. So she just said, "Where do you want to go? Where is some place I've never been?" Well, there are lots of places she's never been, but with the Level Four Flash Flood happening around us, driving all around town was becoming a bad idea, so I thought we better stay in the GC. (See how I just dropped the phrase "the GC" like it was someplace cool?)

So we drive all the way to Vito's from Grove City, and are in the car in the parking lot, staring at the restaurant. I really can't bring myself to go in, mostly because I know it's going to be cold inside (it always is), and it will be worse because we're already wet, and there's not a good parking spot for miles so we'll get even more wet on the way in. But it's also because she's eaten there a thousand times! (Well, only two or three, but still). It's nothing new to her! And she says that she's okay driving in the rain, so I say to her, "OK, let's go somewhere else. Somewhere you've never been. Smokey Bones. You've mentioned it a few times tonight - let's roll." So we start going BACK to Stringtown, when it dawns on us.

They don't have power. DUH.

Stop the car. Turn around. Figure out where the heck we're going to eat! No, still not Vito's for all the same reasons...OK! How about...Plank's? She's never been there. It's a Grove City local tradition, and though I personally wouldn't eat there more than once a year, she has to experience it at some point, right! Now is as good a time as any! So we're on our way! Yeah! Food! Come on, get happy! Oh...but as we approach Plank's there's a cop car right in front of it, and we miss the turn. No big deal, we'll just go up into this neighborhood on the right and turn around.

(cue that ominous sounding "DON'T OPEN THE DOOR BECAUSE THERE'S A CRAZED MAN IN A MASK HIDING BEHIND IT" music.) It would have been really appropriate right about now.

That was a VERY bad idea. There is a neighborhood in Grove City that floods, did you know that? By floods, I only mean that the water gathers in such a way as to swallow small cars. Like Tanya's. And Tanya, bless her heart, maybe they don't have these types of roads up north where she's from...so she doesn't know not to try to drive through deep water like that (you know, because you can't tell how deep it is until you're underwater with the fishies?). So we go to simply cut through this neighborhood and almost drown when the water is almost over the hood of the car. All I could was, "TANYA! NO! DON'T STOP!!!! KEEP GOING!!! OR BACK UP!!! BUT DON'T STOP!!! THAT IS NOT AN OPTION!!!" In the end, she backed up. It was very funny, but also a little bit scary for her car. Of course, we would not have drowned...but her engined would have if we would have stayed much longer in that deep water. It was already showing signs of seizing up. BTW - and I mean this in all seriousness. Tanya is an excellent driver. I tend to get really nervous riding with people during heavy rain, but she's a pro.

So, 10 minutes later, we've backed out of the high water, and are sitting on a patch of high ground on parking lot contemplating our next move. Go left, which means having to go through some more high water, or go right, which is dry. She's considering going left, believe it or not. I think she likes the thrill. She's IS a church girl, after all!

Instead, she opts for the dry ground (again, proof that she's a church girl), because we've settled on just going to Vito's. Tanya says it's fate that we're supposed to go there because nothing else is working out. As we approach Broadway though, I realize that we're close to Cate's Steakhouse, a restuarant she's never been to (one of the criteria for the night's eats). So, we turn right instead of left, and as we make our way there, it's again as if thunder and lightning outside stop, light shines down from heaven, and that Noah's ark that's been floating by?? it just sort of slinks off into the distance as the water recedes somewhere...again.

Dinner was great. After dinner, Tanya took me home. I felt so grubby from running in and out of the rain, all I wanted to do was take a shower, write a quick post and send an email. So I hopped into the shower, changed into my pajamas, walked over to my precious little Francesca (my laptop), and...

PT 4, DOCTOR, GET IN HERE, STAT!

Francesca was not breathing. Well, that's not actually true. She was technically breathing, but she wasn't responsive. Her eyes were rolled back into her head. Her screen - totally blank. I could hear the fan running, which I know to be a good thing. Now, before you go and say, "Angie you dimwit, she's sleeping, wake her up," of course I tried that. She was in a freaking coma! It was awful! I was sure that the storm had fried her brain somehow and sent her spiraling to the deep dark abyss of computer white light heaven. I tried everything I knew to do, which isn't much in this particular case.

Then I called the big dawg. Scott Simmons. He's my astronaut friend. Not really. He's not REALLY an astronaut. He TEACHES the astronauts how to build the space station, so the way I see it, he's smarter than the astronauts. I told him what was happening.

Doctor, she's completely unresponsive. Power light is glowing as if she's getting juice, but she will neither power completely on nor off. The screen is blank. She was running off of the power cord at the time. The room shows no sign of a power surge or power outage. What's your diagnosis?" He said, "I would take the battery out, let it reset, and then restart it without the battery in. That should fix it. IF that doesn't work, then something is VERY wrong and it won't be good. It sounds like it has just gotten hung up somewhere in its own power saving features - that this is a battery problem." I asked, "That was my instinct, too, but I wanted to see what you thought since it appears to be still functioning, and I wanted to ask, "If I take that battery out, and it messes something up, will it void my warranty?" He said, "It shouldn't but that's a good question. I don't know." "Thanks for the consult doc." "Anytime. And hey - don't be a stranger, we're looking forward to seeing you and Robert sometime this fall, you promise?" "Yes sir." "Goodbye." "And be sure to call me with updates on the patient." "I will."

Hmm... what to do? Better safe than sorry. I called Tanya back asked her to take me to MicroCenter to have their tech look at it. Forty minutes later we were on our way.

And forty minutes later, Francesca was having her battery popped out by a very amused MC tech, who said exactly what Scott said. He proceeded to tell me that it was probably because it went into deep Hibernation, and that Hibernation is bad for computers. I said, "Oh. I know. That's why I have it turned off." As if I'm STUPID! Do i have "Computer Stupid" written all over my forehead? He even went and checked! lo and behold, it was turned off. Granted, my system standby wasn't set for "Never" but it doesn't have to be set for NEVER...I had it set for a long time, but it's never done THIS before. This was a goof. Hibernation is bad for computers. Do I look like I was born in the 19... well, there's really no way to finish that without offending someone is there? Let's just say that I know that Hibernation is the devil.

So, as a little treat for Francesca, I got her a carrying case. Up to this point, if I've needed to take her anywhere, I've gently put her in this old backpack I have. But it's not meant for a laptop - it's just a backpack (not safe!). I love the new case.

And then I went home, dried my hair (again, because it was still raining), and crawled into bed. What a day...

STUPID HOT. STUPID VIDEO.

Well, as a reward to Tanya for actually updating her blog today, I'm going to go ahead and post the stupid 15 second video clips of Stupid Hot Salsa Man. The video quality is really awful, but it will make Tanya chuckle, I'm sure. Click on "View Slideshow" to make it play, and then the second clip will play automatically when the first is finished. The first clip is of his first bite, and you just see him starting to tear up at the end! The second is of him looking for for something to drink, and THEN (dang it) reaching for a jar of the salsa to purchase. Stupid Hot Salsa. Get yours at the North Market in downtown Columbus.

REMINDS ME OF MY SAFARI IN AFRICA. SOMEBODY FORGOT THE CORKSCREW AND WE HAD TO LIVE ON NOTHING BUT FOOD AND WATER. (WC FIELDS)

I just read today that my friend jimi has left for Malawi again this summer. I assume that he'll be studying the same types of things he did last year: the spread of sexually transmitted diseases in specific groupings of people (man, I'm way oversimplifying that). He travels a lot, and though he claims himself to NOT be a good photographer, his photography would argue otherwise. Take a look. Good stuff, eh? There are some pictures from Malawi in there somewhere, in case you're someone who is interested in Africa in particular? Not that I know anyone like that...

GASP!


In poking through jimi's pictures, I remembered that he had a few shots of London! I'm going to be THERE in 44 days! With BOB! (Angie reassumes the Daffy Duck cartoon-freaking out scramble!)!!!!

YOU'RE NOT A BLOGGER
if you don't blog.

It's really that simple. And over the past few weeks, I've had several of the regular readers of this blog and Robert's blog say to me (or write to me), "Yeah, I read your blog, and I comment on your blog, and I read Robert's blog and all of these other blogs, and I even started my own blog once, but I stopped, because 1) I didn't think I had anything important to say, 2) I didn't think anyone was reading and 3) noone was commenting."

PEOPLE! Where to begin? Now don't get me wrong. I'm certainly no all star blogger. There are people out there who get PAID to do this, did you know that? They get SO much traffic to their sites, that someone out there in cyberland PAYS them to write about whatever they feel like it because the company knows that they're going to get some ad views from it. I'm quite sure I'm not to that level of celebrity, but for that handful of you who have asked me about it this week, you seemed sincere enough about it, so let's chat. Have a seat, and please, would someone pour themselves a sweet tea since I can't have one (probably Aimee)?

I think I'll start in the middle. I can tell you that people are reading your blogs because they tell me they are. In fact, they say, "You know, I used to read so and so's blog, but they stopped writing so I stopped reading. Too bad too, because s/he was kind of cool/ funny/ smart/ funny/ interesting/ whack/ sexy/ godlike spiritual," or whatever adjective will most likely bring you back to blogging. People DO read - you just don't know it, and it's easier for you to think that they DON'T read than to choose to keep writing and thinking of what you might like to share with the anonymous someone who is still reading.

As for commenting - two things. 1) I know you thrive on comments. You crave them because...it shows that people are reading! It's a viscious cycle, isn't it? But here's the thing. If you don't write - PEOPLE WON'T COMMENT! They have to get to know you well enough to comment! It's like a conversation, you know. Sure, the people who basically know you will comment whenever, but the NEW person to your blog, it takes them a while to know you, and they have to have you keep posting in order to do that. So keep the conversation going. AND...if you're blogging, don't blog JUST to the people you know...unless you ONLY want the people you know to comment. That's okay every once in a while, but like I said... And, don't be afraid to tell your friends about your blog. If you want them to participate with you, then you have to tell them. Send them a little link in your next email. Shameless self promotion? Yes. Will they visit? Yes. How else do you expect them find it? Don't get me wrong - I really have had friends find my blog by googling my name. But those are the ones with the restraining orders. ;-) (I'm kidding Aimee. You know that the RO wore off a long time ago).

And the last one is the biggest, I suppose. WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT? Who cares? I mean sure, someone's going to care, but that's not your business - it's YOUR blog. And don't tell me that you don't have anything interesting to say! You're a human being! You're as interesting as the next person! And, if you had the guts to start a blog, then you probably have a found a way throughout life to prove that to people! hahaha...

So shut up and start blogging again. Who cares what about?? Just do it. Don't TRY to be smart and funny and clever and witty and sexy and godlike spiritual. That never works. Well, it does for me, but that's because I AM those things, but we can't ALL be all those things, now can we? You just be the best you that you can be, and people will read. I promise. And look, I'll put a link to your blog on my page, and that will help. All four people who read my blog will be able to at least FIND your blog! Better hurry, they're going to start reading again like mad, and dang it, you BETTER have written something...

And the rest of you, you BETTER start commenting on each other blogs. Stop lurking. You're all lurking on each other's blogs and asking, "Why isn't anyone reading my blog or commenting on my blog?" It's as bad as being at a party where noone talks to each other. Don't make me come out ther... Wait. I can't actually DO anything... so this is as bad as it's going to get. I'm just saying. Get to it. We're waiting to hear from you!

HURRIED DISCIPLESHIP (MIKE YACONELLI)

I don’t believe in discipleship. Got your attention yet? What I mean is I don’t believe in the way discipleship is communicated and practiced with most youth groups today.

I disagree with the popular practice of involving young people in an intense regimen of Bible study, prayer, worship, leadership, evangelism and accountability where young people are challenged to "take the campus for Christ," "be radical for Jesus," and "give 110%."

I know; I know. How could any Bible-believing Christian not believe in a youth ministry that encourages young people to be "on fire for Jesus?" Well, of course I’m in favor of young people knowing Jesus. What I’m not in favor of is young people doing Jesus because what most youth oriented discipleship programs are about is doing—reading the Bible, praying, worshipping, attending, leading, and evangelizing with no mention of intimacy, waiting, listening, noticing, and paying attention.

Youth-oriented discipleship programs have reduced disciples to cheerleaders and political organizers. Discipleship has been turned into a measurable, external activity instead of an immeasurable, internal lack of activity. Spending time evangelizing has replaced spending time with Jesus, and sharing our faith with others has replaced growing in our faith with Jesus. But there is another, more serious problem.

Young people are…well…young, which means they are immature, confused by their hormones, inexperienced, naïve and idealistic. None of these qualities are "bad," in fact, they are wonderful gifts of youth that are needed in the church, but they are not neutral. Simply put, discipleship is a lifelong process, not a youth activity.

Remember when you were a little child and you dressed up in your parents’ clothes? Such antics were cute, but clearly the clothes didn’t fit. Young people are being asked to dress up like disciples, but the clothes don’t fit. How could they? The Bible was written by adults, men who’d lived long lives, men who’d suffered greatly for their faith and the conclusions they’ve reached have been squeezed out of pain and heartbreak and failure. We impose our adult views of discipleship on young people who couldn’t possibly understand what it all means.

They haven’t lived long enough. But in a culture where youth is worshipped and idolized by adults, where young people are called young adults, where young people are portrayed in the media as wise, untainted gurus of insight, it’s no wonder we convince young people that they’re the hope of the world.

Funny…I thought Jesus was the hope of the world.

Modern youth ministry has turned discipleship into principles rather than process, activity rather than inactivity. Discipleship has become a commitment that can be measured, instead of a relationship that cannot be measured. Discipleship has become a short-term program instead of a life time process. The church has decided to hurry young people into short-term results instead of taking the time to help them become intimate with the long-term Jesus.

Jesus’ program of discipleship was simple: hang out with the disciples; let them see you at your best and worst; spend lots of time alone; teach truths none of your disciples can grasp at the moment; avoid crowds; go slowly; spend hours in solitude; don’t worry about opposition; ignore criticism; and don’t expect immediate results.

Jesus knew hurried disciples become ex-disciples. Modern youth ministry needs to understand our mission: planting, watering and waiting…in other words, unhurried discipleship. Jesus knew, and so should we, that discipleship lasts a lifetime, not only in youth group. May God help all of us to have ministries that begin discipleship.