(if I can't drive, at least I can listen to my DMB driving music)
From the epilepsy.com website:
Most people who take Topamax (topiramate) have little or no problem with side effects. Most of these problems are more common when higher doses of Topamax are taken. Those with problems most often complained of:
Last week, I went to the neurologist for the first time in six months for a check up, and apparently, he saw the italicized side effects in me the same way I'd been feeling them. He asked me "how I'd been feeling" and I just glossed over the question and said, "OK, I mean, I feel a little dumb, but I think it's because I'm bored and don't have a lot to keep my brain occupied."
I don't think he found it very funny, because he came over and started his little test he does. "Tap my fingers with your left hand, now with your right, now grab both my hand with both of yours, now follow my hand with your eyes. Can you name five animals that start with the letter P?" and so on...and by the end of our appointment, he told me that he wanted to change my medicine. He said that he was not comfortable with the effect my medicine was having on my speech, my fine motor skills and my general thought processes, and that though the dosage of my medicine is safe to increase still, he is not comfortable increasing it again should I have another seizure. He recommended another medicine, told me about its own set of crazy side effects and risks, then gave me the choice to switch. I came home, thought about it, prayed about it a bit, talked with Bob about, and in the ended, decided not to. I'm okay where I am, I just have to deal with these side effects.
Fast forward a bit, and I had an interview yesterday with a very well known national non-profit's local branch here in Columbus for a position that is very well suited to my previous experience managing volunteers. I've done pretty well at that, you know? Even still - I was a bit surprised to get a phone interview for this position because it is SUCH a big organization, but I figured, "HEY, if they're calling, then they understand my experience and they are at least a little interested, right? If they're calling, then I can sell myself from here because I KNOW I can do that job, dang it!"
But once we started talking, questions that I've answered a thousand times in a dozen interviews in the past, CAKE questions, came out all garbled and stuttered. I couldn't find the word "DJ" when trying to answer the question, "Are you comfortable speaking in front of large crowds or presenting to audiences?" I was trying to tell her that Tom used to call me a Disney Tour Guide and how the morning show host from the local Christian radio show here in town told me three months ago at a benefit dinner we were hosting together that I could have a career in radio if I wanted it after working at the church, because though that was the first time he'd heard me in front of a large crowd, he was really impressed and felt that I was actually REALLY good. Only, when I couldn't find the freaking word DJ, I'm sure that entire story sounded STUPID. HOW could I possibly be a polished speaker when I couldn't find two letters only six spaces apart from one another in the english alphabet? In the end, there was no way the interview came off well because I was feeling very flustered by the whole experience, and thinking, "No really, I can totally do this job! I promise!" which is of course, a fourth grade response. You can't "No Really!" your way into a professional position, now can you?
I have to get over that, see. That feels like the medicine and the stupid seizures managing me, and not the other way around. I don't know if it means making flash cards that say, "DJ," "unexpected" and "I have been to Minelli's exactly six times, even if I never remember the first time" in order to manage it, but, it just can't be like that, you know? It makes me not want to talk! and that's obviously not an option because God knows...
I've got a lot to say! :-)
2 comments:
Angie, please don't feel bad. Quirky things happen all the time when you're interviewing/applying for jobs.
First, it's not uncommon for larger corporations to do phone interviews. I applied with the American Heart Assoc. about a year or so ago and was interviewed via phone.
Second, I didn't know until a potential employer told me on Wednesday that I had the wrong home number listed. We switched to Sun Rocket (think, Vonage... internet phone service) from land line and oops, I changed the number on my resume, but not my cover letter. I felt SO stupid, especially because of the number of resumes & cover letters I've been sending out lately.
Third (and last), during an interview on Monday, I was asked the "What's your weakness" standard interview question. I replied with numbers, simply because I'd rather work with words (ie, writing) than numbers and wouldn't you know, the job entails a lot of reports and data collection with NUMBERS. I felt like an idiot.
But, I will say that I think people understand that interviewing for a job is stressful and that they take that into consideration. So, maybe you didn't blow it as badly as you think you did.
Aimee, Aimee, Aimee...
I know (and I'm writing this post AFTER they've called back, so in the end, it's all good)...
But the thing is this - I LOVE interviewing. I've done TONS of phone interviews - it's pretty standard in church work because your potential next "business" is so far away, you know? I've told my friends in the past that if I could get a job where all I DO is interview, that would be fun. I do well on interviews typically. It's this fun, nerdy thing for me (it's true, eh Dev?). So to feel like I'm bombing an interview in the middle of it is a new feeling for me. I guess that's what I was saying. It wasn't that I (emphasis on me) was having a bad interview, it was that me on strange medicine was having a bad interview, and THAT was a new experience for me.
I guess though, it must not have been as bad as I though, you're right!
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